Here are some of my favorite quotes (And yes, there are a lot of King of The Hill quotes).

"My face hurts"
"Oh yeah, It's gonna match your *ss when I kick it"~ King of The Hill

"I'm glad you're here colinal, you saved me a phone call. I regret to inform you that your son is wearing saline implants, i.e. "falsies" on his rump!"~ Dale Gribble (King of The Hill)

"It's so easy, it's stupid"~ Ted Nugent

"I wouldn't ask you to do a drum roll if your arm fell off"~ James Hetfield to Lars Ulrich (Metallica)

"Well that just tears it"~ Hank Hill (King of The Hill)

"Men are like parking lots...all of the good ones are taken and all of the available ones are handicapped."~ Unknown

"If you don't get out of my house right now, I'm gonna tear you a new one."~ Hank Hill (King of The Hill)

"Ok, Louisa May, go play your ballerina ball...just leave your penis in the bucket"~ Coach Salors (King of The Hill)

"...Respect every player as if he/she is a winner...What is this he/she crap?!?! Some sort of science fiction deal!"~ Coach Salors (King of The Hill)

"I would say what I really think of you, but I'm a Christian woman."~ Quicia D.

" Looking pretty in public is asking for nothing but trouble, so I borrowed some of your clothes."~ Luanne (King of The Hill)

"I could be a drink girl. 'Can I get you gentlemen anything to drink?'"~ Bobby Hill
"Bobby, don't let your father see you doing that."~ Peggy Hill (King of The Hill)

"How long are we going to keep up this false charad?!?!"~ Dale Gribble
"Man, dang ol' I believe the dang ol' word is pronounced charade"~ Boomhauer (King of The Hill)

"Peeing your pants is like showing that you're happy. Your warm and you show it!"~ Johnathan C.

"Unless you're a hemerroid, get off of my *ss!"~ Brenda G.

"Oooh, if I could have grabbed a fry off of his plate when he walked by, I would've been full."~ Some guy

"Hey, you actually know this guy?!?!"~ Post office woman
"No dagnam way, man, he's just an old guy with dang ol' sex toys...wanna come back to my place?"~ Boomhauer (King of The Hill)

"Nobody likes a knowitall who sits around talking about their genitalia."~ Hank Hill (King of The Hill)

"I'm a little worried about being a slut."~ Bobby Hill (King of The Hill)

"Guns don't kill people. The Government does."~ Dale Gribble (King of The Hill)

"It is very important to always know your name. Here's a little trick I use to remember mine: I think of a man named Lu, and a woman named Anne. The meet in a kingdom in a forest - okay, maybe that's too complicated."~ Luanne (King of The Hill)

"Oh fine, it smells like hell anyways"~ Dick Solomon (3rd Rock From The Sun)

"Yo" ~ Boomhauer (King of The Hill)

"I wanna know whose fault this is, the machine or your's, cause I wanna know whose *ss to kick" ~ Hank Hill (KOTH)
"Sir this isn't anybody's fault except for yours."~ The clerk at the video store
"That's it! Now where's the *ss on this thing?"~ Hank Hill

"This stupid, retarted book! I hate this class!~ Tim M. (on Spanish Class)

"We were watching Fear Factor on Monday. There was a gay guy that said if he won he would get butt implants...he won my dad's comment..."Damn pole sucker."~ Meredith P.

"That's definately going on my quotes page!"~ Me

"You know what I like about my bathroom? I like the mirror behind the door cause then you feel like someone is watching you while you're doing you business."~ Matt V.

"There are 45 people on a football team. Only 22 of them actually play. The rest are just there to keep the bench from flying in the air"~ Bill Cosby

"You're going to be remembered as 'Ron The Forgotten Man'?!?!"~ Bill Cosby

"He's not movin' in with us cause we're not his parents...and I don't need the DNA to prove it!"~ Bill Cosby

"The attic is a wonderful place, cause this is where you put all the stuff you don't wanna see."~ Bill Cosby

"I'm fine. I'm just lying here trying to figure out if your father is a hole surrounded by *ss."~ Greg (Dharma and Greg)

"Pitter Patter, Let's get at 'er."~ Ray Kowalski (Due South)

"You know it's your *ss on the line."~ Undercover cop
"You're right, it is my *ss...and I'm taking it on a tour."~ Patrick Kelly (Murder Most Likely)

"Ugghhhh...Fraser that is the sickest thing I have ever glimpsed!"~ Ray Kowalski (Due South)

"Are you actually looking for something, or do you just really like me?!?!"~ Patrick Kelly (Murder Most Likely)

If you've got any other good quotes, just send them to me